How To Know If an INTJ Likes You

By sandro •  Updated: 06/26/21 •  6 min read
How To Know If an INTJ Likes You

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INTJs are a rare breed, they are generally intelligent, straight to the point no BS type of people.

But we all know that love can motivate a person to change their normal behaviors, let’s take a closer look into how INTJs approach the situation when they are interested in someone.

You’ll know an INTJ Likes you when they ask you lots of questions, if there are awkward glances between both of you, they might even allow slight touches or reach out to touch you as well.

They will be more interested in discussing subjects you are more interested in than they are, and quite possibly even talk about their feelings.

Just know that they are not ones to play flirty games, so if they decide to step outside of their comfort zone just for you, then it’s almost certain that they are interested in you.

Are INTJs Cautious?

Are INTJs Cautious? How To Know If an INTJ Likes You

Like with everything in their lives, INTJs always use caution in everything they do, they are not ones to jump into something without prior understanding.

Love and dating are not going to change that, at the most, we could expect an INTJ to bend their actions, but never fully detach themselves from their core beliefs.

Dedication is something that comes easy for INTJs, provided the subject sparks their interest.
When they set their mind on learning something, they want to get to the essence of it, the same thing can be said with romantic interests.

This means whenever they take a liking to someone, they will want to know everything about them, their likes and dislikes, their back story, essentially what makes them tick.

This will manifest itself through series of questions, they want to understand exactly how the other person thinks, in order to discover if they are indeed a good match and worth pursuing.

Are INTJs Stalkerish?

Are INTJs Stalkerish? How To Know If an INTJ Likes You

You’ll Know an INTJ is interested in you when they steal awkward glances.

An INTJ will appear to be shy, there’s a process they go through when they like someone, at first it will be almost stalkerish, they will try to find out your interests and who are you’re friends.

Don’t worry this is totally harmless, they earned the reputation of masterminds because of their planning and calculating inclinations, so it’s all normal.

There are going to be some awkward glances, and then look away 1 second after the other person notices it, this is just an assessment method, just to try to read your reaction.

If it’s a smile or a gentle fixing of the hair, they will know that you care, and their glance was impactful enough that prompted a positive response, this will give them the confidence that the feeling might be mutual.

They will then proceed to phase 2, which is figuring out the perfect way to approach you.

Do INTJs Allow Touching?

Do INTJs Allow Touching? How To Know If an INTJ Likes You

INTJs as a general rule are very guarded and protective of their bubble, touching an INTJ without consent, is most likely going to upset them, as they see it as a violation of their personal space.

But when they want to build a connection with someone, they do allow subtle touches, but tread carefully, when I say subtle I mean subtle, even when INTJs are interested in someone, they will not allow much more than that.

They themselves engage in it, If an INTJ gives you a soft touch on the shoulder, hand, arm… Then that’s a good sign they are interested in you.

They actually want that physical connection to happen, but time is important, INTJs are not ones to fall over heels overnight, they are sensitive creatures, even though they might not appear so on the outside.

They will only be able to trust someone, when enough time has passed and trust has been established.

Do INTJs Talk About Subjects They’re Not Interested In?


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INTJs generally do not engage in conversations that do not interest them, normally are deeper and meaningful.

Something like the betterment of society’s systems or theorizing about abstract ideas, that can work more efficiently for the benefit of all.

If you find an INTJ forcing mundane topics, and engaging in what is considered chit-chat when they are around you, then you know they are making an effort.

Expressions of romantic interest are very subtle, and probably not picked up on they’ll more likely adapt their sarcasm to come out defiant but funny, they want to show that there’s an edge to them.

At the same time intelligent and funny, it’s also a great way to put you at ease, if they try to make you laugh it’s because they really like you, they will not waste their energy doing that for anyone else besides the people they really like.

Do INTJs Share Emotions and Feelings?

Do INTJs Share Emotions and Feelings?

The same way they will talk about subjects that they would not talk about otherwise, they will also show more emotion, they will force out their Extraverted Sensing, which means they will be paying more attention to their surroundings.

They know it’s something that will facilitate the conversation in case they run out of questions, or the conversation becomes stale.

They also want to show you that they are capable of enjoying the sensory world around them, So you get the idea that they are perfectly capable of enjoying the world, and are not always inside their own heads.

Do INTJs Like The Chase or Flirty Games?

Do INTJs Like The Chase or Flitty Games?

After the process of assessment, (it may take a while), if they deem you worthy, Don’t be surprised if they let you know how they feel about you.

INTJs do not like to chase or flirty games, but they do protect themselves and if they become convinced the affection will be reciprocated, they are very likely to just tell you that they like you.

They’ll probably try to mask a date, and call it just hanging out, they will definitely prefer to be alone with you, but if the only way to spend some time with you means they have to also be part of a small group, then they hesitantly will.

If an INTJ hangs out with you and your friends, then that’s a dead giveaway that he genuinely likes you, INTJs are introverts and as such, they get drained with social interactions and too much sensory information.

If they are willing to exhaust their energy for you, then you can be assured that they like you.

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